HELPING THE TROUBLED SISTER
Dr. Paul M. Midden

Although the following suggestions may prove elementary to those who are or have been serving in leadership positions, the information can serve as a helpful reminder when a sister is troubled and an intervention is needed.

"Perhaps we should have had Sister evaluated sooner, but she said her drinking wasn't a problem. A while after her father died, she agreed to cut back on her own, and we wanted to respect her wishes." "Joan has such a temper no one wanted to confront her. Frankly, she's been making everyone else miserable. We kept thinking she'd eventually work it out herself."

Giving a troubled sister "the benefit of the doubt" can, at times, lead to independent resolve. At other times, it compounds the problems. Yet, intervening can be difficult and anxiety producing. Confronting the person can be frustrating and painful, but remember your purpose. It is to help the person. It is to help the community in which she lives. Stay focused on that.

These steps should help:

Establish a time to meet with the person. Be direct during the meeting about the problems observed and reported from reliable sources. Voice your concern for the person's well being, repeatedly if necessary, throughout the meeting.

Ask the person to stay focused on taking one step at a time. State that the assessment is the first step in getting a clearer picture of the problem(s). This alone can be of great value in reducing anxiety for all involved. Tell her that a decision will be made following the assessment, based on the results of the evaluation and input from all involved.

An assessment team of trained professionals can and will assist you in dealing with the sister's feelings before and/or after she arrives for the assessment.

A comprehensive assessment can be the most useful tool for helping a woman religious and her superior understand the problems. An in-depth appraisal of the issues troubling the person and critical information needed to make informed decisions to resolve those issues are provided.

At treatment facilities serving women religious, most assessments are conducted in four to five days and culminate in a feedback conference for the superior and the individual. Non-binding recommendations are made at that time.

Good preparation for an effective assessment involves these basic steps:

Explain all that you can about the assessment process to the person to be evaluated. If you have any questions or need assistance describing the process, call the facility you have chosen to provide the assessment and ask. Explain what happens to the copies of the written assessment reports provided to the superior.

With regard to the facility doing the assessment, provide as much information as possible about the person and your concerns about her situation. Be specific. The more information you can share, the better the assessment team can address the specific concerns of the community.

Be prepared to share any concerns at the feedback session. If you have questions, write them down and ask them. Acknowledge the efforts of the person who went through the assessment. Provide support as you are able. Remember, too, that the assessment team is there to support you. Whether the presenting issue is anger, alcohol, or a personality conflict, the intervention and assessment are usually the first in a series of steps designed to alleviate the pain and address the difficulties. Yet, with the recommendations made during the assessment process, the individual and superior together with the assessment team can develop a plan to benefit the individual and those affected by her actions.

Paul M. Midden, Ph.D. is Clinical Director of the St. Louis Consultation Center in St. Louis, Missouri. He has worked with women religious and clergy for over 20 years.

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